Δευτέρα, 15 Ιουλίου 2013

Erdoğan's chief adviser knows what's behind Turkey's protests – telekinesis

From Lufthansa to the CIA, Turkey's government has come up with some worrying conspiracy theories to explain Gezi Park

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdo
The Turkish prime minister, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. His new chief adviser, Yiğit Bulut, said: 'There is work going on … to kill Erdoğan from afar through methods like telekinesis.' Photograph: Adem Altan/AFP/Getty Images
It has to be said that when the Turkish government began to flail around for the "real reasons" behind the Gezi protests, their initial conspiracy theories lacked imagination – the CIA, Europeans jealous of their economic success, unspecified foreign forces in cahoots with terrorists, Twitter, the "interest rate lobby", and, of course, the international Jewish conspiracy. What would a search for a scapegoat be in Turkey (or indeed Greece) without our old friends the Elders of Zion?
Since it was obviously inconceivable that the Turkish people themselves – knowing they were living through a golden age of good governance, piety and profit – would ever take to the streets, there must have been a plot.
Well now we have the answer – it was all a giant telekinetic attack by dark forces to discredit Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, because he had made Turkey a "model for the world". Quite rightly, the man who made this astonishing discovery, Yiğit Bulut, has just been made Erdoğan's chief adviser. No, this is not a joke. Telekinesis, you may have noticed, is a Greek word.

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